Worship

This morning I met with Marc (youth minister) and Alex (pastor) of Master's Church- where you can find me Wednesday nights- and talked about some different possibilities for the future about the music ministry there and the Wednesday night youth services. I was planning on driving back to Frankfort after that to get my tire replaced (I ran over a nail the other day and I'm on my spare at the moment) but I ended up just going down the road to the nearest S&S. They kept my tire and said it may be fixable but they aren't sure until they can see how deep the nail goes. (I'll have to check back on Monday.) So, not having to travel to Frankfort really opened up my schedule today and has allowed me to spend more time in prayer, especially in the area of my own personal worship.
God has really been convicting me these past few days of focusing so much on the music and forgetting why I play and sing in the first place. He's showing me that my singing and playing isn't worship at all if it's only an end in itself. If His glory isn't the ultimate goal of my music than it's all in vain. It's become so easy for me to get up on the stage and concentrate so much on sounding good, playing the right chords, and singing the right words (in the right order) and completely forget about the God to whom I'm singing. I can't even count the times that we've finished a concert or a worship service and I've messed up some notes or words and that is the only thing I remember about the night. I was so out of tune with the Holy Spirit working that I completely missed everything important that happened. I'm sure that all worship leaders have gone through this problem and I'm sure this isn't the last time this will ever happen- it will be constant battle that I fight for the rest of my life to forget about everything and focus on God. I pray for your support as I repent.